Roscoe's Rambles

And She Doesn’t Love You Anymore…

Well, yeah, my post is pretty much about that.

This is really the only outlet I can have about Lauren that probably won’t get back to her, and god forbid that she gets wind of it.

I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want to be with me anymore.

First thing’s first, in case you haven’t noticed already, I get really invested in people. I love giving my all and feeling like there is one person who needs me.

And at the start, she gave me exactly that, I felt like I was one of the most important things in her life, and I haven’t known her for that long and I already feel that way, she is one of the most delicate people I know.

But now, she seems so distant, and really reluctant to be with me.

And this is pretty quickly after we had an argument about some arsehole bothering her, I was trying to give her advice, and I felt kind of like I hurt her. I was going to say something, but I had to leave and couldn’t.

It didn’t seem really important at the time, but now it feels like it has a huge bearing on everything.

I haven’t seen her in a few days, and it might just be that we’ve missed whatever physical relationship stuff we have.

Buuut, on that note, I don’t want to be overly physical at the same time, because she’s had bad relationships before where the guys just used her.

I hate trying to be the perfect boyfriend, but I love the feeling of having another half. And she’s really the only good thing I’ve got going for me at the moment.

I think that might be just it… She doesn’t like me anymore, but she really wants to stay in the relationship. Our one month is coming up, and if it was me, I wouldn’t want to dump somebody two days before that sort of thing. Especially since it’s me and she thinks I’ve got this massive thing planned or something.

Ahh fuck… I’m seeing her tomorrow, so I might find out then….

We’ll all see.

Ciao, and thanks for trying to care.

Okay, well…

Only posting on here because I’m epically bored, tipsy, and Caitlin is not above breaking my legs until I post something.

First things first:

Since when do I have nice eyes?

Like, three or four people have told me this during the year, and yet it never came up ever before that.

What the hell?

Did something change, or is it just the fact that people have only bothered to notice that I occasionally have good features?

Okay, so, something I’ve already made painfully obvious to everybody who’ll listen (and I keep reminding everybody): I have a new girlfriend.

We have been going out since Tuesday.

And I’ve realized how emotionally invested I let myself get.

I’ve taken a few steps that seem pretty big to me in the past couple of days, that I wouldn’t think I would normally do.

I’m pretty sure she reminds me too much of some of my past relationships/flings.

It’s odd.

But she’s mostly out of my friendship group, she’s new and exciting, and I feel going out with someone is a fantastic way to get to know them better. And I’m still hoping this will last, because I feel good about it, despite anything that might be going through my head.

I have decided that people in Tuggeranong are freaky.

Some random guy (or girl, I really wasn’t sure on this one) sat right next to me in the interchange, when there were many other free seats.

I mean, sure, I’m okay with people sitting on the same bench as I am, but this person was sitting -right next to me- , almost touching me.

And they followed me in the line for the bus… a bus that they didn’t even get on.

People are fucking weird.

Um… Reports, reports….

I’m unemployed…

I’m getting guitar lessons…

Not much is really happening in the universe.

How depressing.

Gryff out.

Whine to Whine About

Well, it’s nothing really that bad, honestly.

Long story short (really, really short):

Girl I like, was going out with guy I don’t like, but girl not going out with guy anymore.

Well, it’s not that I didn’t like guy… I just thought he was in no way, shape or form good enough for girl.

But I have really high expectations of who she should go for, and she goes for the worst kind of guys.

But yeah, they’re done now.

But… I’ve liked her for what seems like ages, and she’s always giving me what seems to me like hints that she wants something to happen.

And I don’t want to just pounce on her now that she’s single, I don’t want to be that guy… Again.

Anyways, off that.

I had a great day with someone I used to be really close to today, and they’re one of those people who I can talk to about almost anything, and we haven’t really talked for a while, and we spent like, 7 or 8 hours in Woden, it was awesome. Movies, squash, and checking out chicks for hours on end XD

Much love peeps *hits chest, kisses fingers and sends peace*

Is it weird to feel bad for being more or less the only one that doesn’t hate somebody?

Especially seeing that I probably have a few really good reasons why I should.

I don’t know… I feel like I should but I don’t want to try and hate people, that’s stupid.

Ugh.

Alcohol + Matches…

*looks at arm*

Looking back on the other night, I realise Marc and I are complete douchebags…

I have a little burn on my arm, and it’s itchy as fuck, but it’s one of those scabby sort of things that I know if I scratch at it, it’ll be stingy-hurty pain, instead of a releasing sort of pain I get from normal scabs.

God dammit.

Caitlin is a Whore…

…so I got a tumblr.

The layout is confusing…

I hate you Caitlin.

Mainly because I might actually end up using this.